Brilliant

Why can't I think of things like this? Introducing The Winkee - the ultimate solution for plunging necklines. It looks like a thong for your bra and it's all for the sole purpose of covering cleavage. So smart.

Tila Tequila and Unicorns

We developed a wonderful new tradition while decorating our Christmas tree this past week. While most sing carols and sip egg nog, Chris and I instead indulged in Tila Tequila's Shot at Love marathon on MTV. Now I thought The Hills was a bit of an embarrassment to admit to, but Tila Tequila is a whole other story. Pure trash, but a great holiday tradition, none the less. The season finale is right around the corner. Go Danni.

For those of you that haven't seen the Lane tree in person, you have surely heard about the ornaments that adorn the branches. I was shocked during our first year of marriage to bring our childhood ornaments together to decorate our first Christmas tree. As Chris tenderly unwrapped each and every ornament I noticed a plethora of horse ornaments. These were not just horse ornaments people! These were unicorns and Chris had dozens of them.

Apparently in the Lane family, if you state that you like something, it will quickly become the item that everyone gives you for Christmas and other special holidays. And so it goes that Chris had a thing for unicorns in his younger days and the collection grew and now it graces our tree every year and it is good for another annual laugh.

Perhaps the best ornament is a small book ornament that is the story of the unicorn "The Legendary Unicorn" is its title. So I actually cracked this "ornament" open for a little read this year. Among the unicorn poetry was some mention of the symbolism behind the unicorn. It said that "a unicorn symbolizes many things and is said to posses many mysterious powers. Not only does his horn purify poisoned and contaminated water, but if a soldier carries an amulet made from a unicorn horn, he will not be armed in battle. The horn from the captured beast was often ground into a power and taken as a love potion."

What!?

It goes on to say that one of the reasons that unicorns have vanished from the earth was because when Noah was gathering animals for the Ark, "the unicorns were too busy dancing in the meadows and missed the boat."

Oh that makes so much sense now.

You really must see these ornaments to gain a full appreciation of the humor behind them. Over the years, our friends have slowly latched on to my husband's affinity for the mythical beast and Chris is now the proud owner of one small fuzzy unicorn purse, a unicorn sweater and if Moe and Eric felt he was worthy, Chris could have had a larger-than-life-sized unicorn for a mere $800.

To sum it all up, please check out the YouTube video about Charlie the Unicorn and help shun the non-believer. Check it out.

Did I do that?

I have already told this story to a few of you, but...

I went to a bachelorette party a few weeks ago and drove myself home at 1:30 in the morning. I truly was fine to drive, only having about 3 beers.

Flash forward to Saturday morning when I pulled into the YMCA parking lot (note: Had I had more than three beers I wouldn't have even considered the Y as an option on an early Saturday morning). I pulled into the parking spot and glanced into the rear view mirror to see red blood all over the back of my rear window. "Holy s*#t! I couldn't have killed someone or something on my way home. Could I? I was fine to drive!" I got out and observed a bit more closely. I couldn't honestly rule out blood. Rather than going into the Y, I decided to head back home and try to figure this mystery out.

I pulled into the driveway, got out of the car and realized that the blood was all over the driveway and up and down the sidewalk. Whew! At least if I killed someone, it was a neighbor that was walking in front of my house at 1:30 a.m. Idiot.

I touched my finger to the "blood" and my finger was instantly stained a bright pink. Yes, pink. Woo Hoo! It wasn't blood. I was just the victim of a crazy bunch of pranksters having fun on St. Patty's.

Long story short...I couldn't decide if I should take pictures, call the police or take my car to get cleaned and if so, in what order? I took pictures. I washed my car. The paint mostly came out. I then filed a police report. Turns out it happened to a few other cars on the block. I headed back to the Y.

Brownie Butts

If you don't receive Daily Candy's daily e-mails, you really should sign up. They send fun and clever e-mails based on the city where you live or wished you lived at least.

This came in to my inbox yesterday and I thougth it was one of the smartest things I have ever heard of...brownie butts. You know... the brownie pan edges. Not sure about you, but the edge is my favorite part of the entire batch. This company specializes in selling in only the edges, or the "butts" as they call them. It reminds me of Seinfeld's muffin tops. Anyway, it made me happy.